Rules Of Engagement

As I sit here browsing Twitter and creepily stalk Andy Roddick, I think about how things have changed in my life since moving in with my husband. The reason I’m thinking about this? We are going on hour 3 of him out playing tennis…my husband and probably Roddick as well. Read on as I explain how this all ties in…this post is for all of you who are about to move in with your lucky lady, whether you are the traditionals who wait until after the wedding or those living on the edge and move in long before the proposal (me!). Either way there is a transition period after moving in with each other that all couples should know about. Actually there are two very distinct transitions that occur when you move in with your significant other and it’s best to be prepared for both.

When my then boyfriend and now husband and I first moved in together, I must admit I was a bit nervous, as I’m sure everyone is. All kinds of questions enter your mind as well as excitement. You may be thinking “how will we split closet space” or “will I still be able to keep the house at 65?” The answer is, you will probably surrender most of your closet space and no, you will not be able to keep saving on electric by keeping your house at a pleasant 65 degrees. However, there are other things to be prepared for such as how your relationship will suddenly seem quite strange when you realize that your significant other likes to leave the dishes on the outside of the sink instead of putting them directly in or they like to use a knife and leave it on the counter “just in case” they need it again soon. Although when you’re dating you do realize many things about your partner, be prepared to realize all their endearing eccentricities when you move in. Hopefully this will just make them all the more lovable! Also good to know: you will no longer have any personal space. Unless you live in a 15 bedroom mansion, be prepared for your loved one to know your every move. Going to the bathroom? Checking your email? I’m going to know about it. Not because I’m prying but because we’re sharing personal space. Hey, it’s all about sharing every moment together! What I was not expecting was how strangely awkward I felt at first when I moved in. I found myself saying things like “oh, pardon me” when we got in each other’s way or “do you mind if I…” and “oh my god, do you want a massage before bed?? We can stay up and talk all night!” but trust me, this too shall pass.

At some point, you will get used to all the weird things your partner does and the fact that you now have to watch the Bachelorette. Believe me, you will get into it. Soon the “excuse me, honey!!” turns into “get the hell out of my way” but this is to be expected. What I love about living with someone is how much you learn to compromise with the person most important to you. Maybe you keep the thermostat firmly on 70 and in exchange she gets into watching ESPN. You learn to share these important moments and get into each other’s hobbies. Hence, I now stalk Andy Roddick. On the other end of the spectrum you also learn it’s ok for you to do your own things, like playing tennis for 3 hours. Sometimes you just have to get out for a little bit before you kill someone. The awkwardness goes away and you soon get into your own groove. It’s a life long learning experience that will have its ups and downs. You may never master it, but you will enjoy it!

- @birdiesky

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