Rules Of Engagement

Hello! Me and my fiancé both are having a bit of a problem with our wedding parties. We recently became engaged but are wanting to get our wedding parties together now as our wedding is less than a year away already. What’s happening is that I am having bridesmaids (and groomsmen) who are not giving us straight answers about whether or not they will be able to commit to being a bridesmaid/groomsmen. Is there a polite way to get a straight answer from people without putting too much pressure on them?
- Lisa, California

Lisa,
I understand your dilemma! To cut down on these kinds of stresses for my wedding, I didn’t have a wedding party at all. I felt like it would be a stressful event as it is, I figured it would be easiest to just have me and my fiancé up at the altar. So what do you do when you are trying to get all your friends and family together at one place at one time? Well, you have to start reminding/nagging people for an answer. As you said, there needs to be a balance between being polite and putting pressure on people. What you need to keep in mind is that you aren’t pressuring them to say yes. You would just like an answer. And remind them of this as well! Also helpful? Give them a deadline. Not in a way a boss would, but let them know that you need to have your wedding party list finalized by such and such a date. I think really the best thing to realize is that if you are having trouble just getting an answer out of someone for this, imagine how difficult it may be to get them to the rehearsal, to the wedding, to the wedding shower, etc. If you hare having a really hard time getting an answer from certain people, I believe that is your answer and they don’t know how to tell you. Make it as easy for them as possible to give a truthful answer. If they can’t make it, they can’t make it. It may mean cutting down on your wedding party, but it would be best to know there will be people there you can depend on!

Let us know how you got your wedding party together below!

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