Posts Tagged ‘discussing marriage before the proposal’
Top 5 Proposal Mistakes You Can Control
A lot of things can go wrong when planning your proposal (it rains on your picnic, she gets sick on the cruise) but these you can actually control….
1) Don’t Ask Empty Handed
I know, I’ve heard it before “but I want her to pick out the ring so I’m going to ask and then we’ll go to the jewelry store”. Stop for just a second and imagine your proposal: You ask, she’s ecstatic, she goes to tell mom/dad/brother/sister/best friend/etc. and says “we’re engaged”… the next step is she sticks out her left hand and shows off the ring she is madly in love with (because you gave it to her). Don’t deprive her of this.
2) Don’t Ask During a Fight
You’ve bought the ring and you take her on a romantic getaway but it rains, the airport loses her luggage and you can’t get a taxi. The day’s events end up with the two of you fighting during the romantic dinner you had planned to propose at. Don’t be impatient, just wait! Although that romantic dinner would have been the perfect proposal, getting down on one knee while she is smoking mad is not good timing (no matter how cute you think she is when she’s mad). Re-group and wait. Better to be patient then to have your proposal story start with “while she was yelling at me…”.
3) Don’t Catch Her Off Guard
Do not misinterpret! You should surprise her with the proposal but not with the idea of marrying you. Make sure the idea of marriage is not a complete shock. It’s important to have discussed marriage at some point previous to the proposal.
4) Don’t Get Too Complicated
The day you propose you will undoubtedly be nervous (most likely extremely nervous). So don’t add too many complications that just create more things that can go wrong. For example, if you do a scavenger hunt proposal don’t lead her on a five hour 30 clue hunt… keep it simple (while still amazing & wonderful). Also, enlist a friend to help – you’ll appreciate it the day of the proposal when your nerves get the best of you!
5) DO Plan Ahead
Maybe an elaborate proposal isn’t your girlfriend’s style but DO plan ahead. Whether it’s on a picnic overlooking the mountains or in a helicopter over the Grand Canyon, plan something memorable. Keep in mind she will tell this proposal story hundreds of times and for years to come.
“How in-the-know should I go with the Proposal?”
When you get on bended knee, it’s optimum to have discussed the idea of marriage beforehand. It’s imperative you’re both on the same page regarding your long term vision for your lives as individuals and as a couple. Key life goals/preferences are also important to discuss, like where you want to live, what religion you want to raise your children with, your financial backgrounds and having kids, for instance.
If you’ve never had any practical discussions before The Moment, your hopeful bride-to-be may be taken off guard. She just might hesitate to say yes, if not even giving an “I’ll think about” disaster of a response. It’s best to get your ducks in a row and communicate with your significant other before popping the question. You can keep things more general and ambiguous, like you’re just throwing raw thoughts and dreams into the air, or you can get specific if that’s you and yours’ style. There is no right or wrong way to discuss your future lives together, it’s simply important to try and check expectations, find common ground, and resolve any future issues or disputes before they become huge problems. It will be helpful for both of you, establishing shared vision and easing mutual concerns or unknowns. You know her better than I do, so go with your gut and just try to space your questions and discussions far apart from The Proposal itself.
But Shouldn’t It Be A Surprise?
Don’t get me wrong. Just because I appear to approach marriage and The Proposal it requires from simply a pragmatic standpoint doesn’t mean I’m saying throw romance out the window. It’s ok if your girlfriend is expecting the “season” or “period” of the The Proposal, but not the day itself. Think outside the box and don’t give away too much. Find a way to surprise her and you’ll be proud of the story she’ll no doubt tell everyone in the coming weeks, months, and years.
What About Choosing The Ring?
I don’t know many brides that would want their lover to propose to them empty-handed. But I also know that many want to be an active part of which ring they will be wearing for the rest of their lives. So how do you keep The Proposal a surprise while pleasing your partner’s discriminating tastes and preferences? Plan ahead, keep it clean, and try to get specific, but not too specific. It’s ok to visit a few jewelry stores and casually discuss what’s appealing and what’s not with your girlfriend. You want to know her ring size, you want to know which shapes she prefers, where her expectations lie, and what makes her smile. Just don’t let this gathering process drag on too long and try to space your research far enough apart from your purchase and subsequently your Proposal. Remember, plan early, execute smoothly, and surprise your future wife with an engagement to remember.
Loading ...
Find the Ring
Plan the Proposal
Plan the Wedding
