Rules Of Engagement

I sat down and had a few conversational beers with some regular guys to find out what men think about when they’re on the diamond/engagement ring hunt. I have to be honest…I didn’t expect the conversation to focus on “salespeople” and “trust” as much as it did. I thought for sure the #1 topic would be price, but I found out that guys want real, live help at the counter and are willing to pay for it.

That’s really cool because the people behind the counter (the good ones) can and do help give you something that you can’t buy online in most cases: peace of mind. They are your Hired Guns and when a true professional is there to help it speeds up the process and takes some of the pressure off.

Under Pressure…Not!

Which brings me to the topic at hand: A lot of men feel pressure when it comes to buying the “right” ring and really not as bad as all that. I know how it goes…I’ve seen it a million times and it goes something like this:

• You are in love and spent some time talking to her and looking at ring styles she says she likes.
• You’ve found a beautiful ring that fits her style and the price is something you can live with.
• You’re standing in a store that speaks your language and you like the salesperson.
• All you need to do now is pull the trigger and buy the ring. Instead you say something like:”I think I’m going to bring her in to make sure she likes it.”

No…no…no…no and NO. You can and should buy the ring because bringing her in to look at yet another ring is unromantic, unmanly and completely unnecessary. How do I know? I asked women who are/were in the market for an engagement ring.

The Survey…

I wrote a very casual survey and submitted it to women with the help of several jewelry store buddies and Facebook fans. This is the question I asked:

How would you like the ring purchase to go down?

• I want to pick out the ring and that’s the ring I expect to see when I open the box. (10.1%)
• I want to show him the general style I like and as long as it’s in the ballpark I’m good. (61.6%)
• I’ll provide a laundry list and expect him to fill it. (Not in a mean way. I have to wear this ring the rest of my life!)(6.9%)
• I want it to be a complete surprise. I’ll take anything.(21.4%)

Nearly 62% of respondents said as long as you buy a ring that is similar to the style she picked out, you’re good. If you add the other 21.4% who want the ring to be a complete surprise then you have an 8 in 10 shot at being the man she expects you to be. Seriously…you know if she’s one of the other 17% so act accordingly.

But still…what if I pick the wrong ring?

There you go again…making it harder than it needs to be. That’s OK because I have this to share with you as well. The follow up question to the above was:

If he came home with something different than what I told him to get or hinted at I would:

• Be disappointed but OK. (54%)
• Be disappointed and mad. (4%)
• Love it just the same. (42%)

Only 4% of women will be “mad” if you propose with something she’s not expecting so the risk factor is extremely low. See? This is easy.

Go for it!

I grant you this is not the most sophisticated survey on the planet but it is telling. Feel free to take your own casual surveys as you’re out and about. Ask women what they think, combine those answers with my results and come to your own conclusion. Something tells me you won’t feel the need to “bring her in” anymore.

Personally I’d take this info and run with it. There are so many more important things to do than push off buying a ring with manufactured excuses. (For example…you can start planning your proposal.)

Let me know how it goes!

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