Archive for the ‘Engagement & Wedding Resource Guide’ Category
Honeymoon Planning Tips
Once you pick a date for your wedding, you’re going to want to start thinking about your honeymoon (if you haven’t been obsessing about it already!) First, you should talk with your honey and agree upon what kind of honeymoon appeals to you. For some couples, an ideal honeymoon involves cocktails on the beach in a tropical oasis under the golden sun. For others, a romantic escapes means a cultural tour of Europe complete with fine wine and museums amidst the breathtaking architecture of an era gone by.
Your honeymoon destination is a personal choice, so here are a few things to consider as you plan your romantic getaway for two:
- Availability. Are you lucky enough to be able to take off two weeks for your honeymoon extravaganza? Maybe just one week? If not, how much time will your work permit you to be gone? With today’s economy, more and more couples are choosing to have honeymoon weekends where they travel to destinations closer to their home town. That way, they can have a relaxing getaway weekend and still be home in time to be back at work monday morning.
- Weather. It is extremely important to research the weather of the location you’d like to visit for your honeymoon. If you choose a tropical paradise, make sure you aren’t going during their rainy season. The best thing to do is to research which locations have the best weather during the month you plan to get married and then take it from there.
- Budget. When choosing a location, you must factor in a budget. If you are looking for a way to stretch your dollar, there are many travel sites that offer all inclusive packages to many romantic locations in the Caribbean, Mexico, and South America. These exciting locations can be good for the soul and good for the budget!
- Off Season. Some fancier locations may offer lower prices during their off season. Besides the price, another major advantage to a destination during off season is privacy. During this time, hotels are less crowded, allowing you to enjoy your environment more peacefully. Just know that you are going to be taking a gamble with the weather if you go this route. More and more couples are electing to take advantage of this opportunity and find the gamble well worth the risk.
Groom’s Cake Tradition
Anyone who has ever watched Ace of Cakes needs no explanation as to the fun and usefulness of the groom’s cake. The tradition of the groom’s cake began as a way for the guests to be able to take home individual pieces of the cake to enjoy later at home. The wedding cake would be eaten at the reception as usual and before the guests left, the groom’s cake would be packaged up for the guests to reminisce over and enjoy at a later time. This tradition has evolved into being a gift from the bride (usually) and is a reflection of the groom and his personality. It is to be a gift for the groom although now it is usually served to guests along with the traditional wedding cake.
Although the groom’s cake does not need to be a surprise, it is a great way to give the groom his own spotlight on a day that tends to be more bride focused. While the main wedding cake usually has a flavor that appeals to everyone, the groom’s cake is traditionally a flavor that the groom will especially appreciate and love. It also is a great way to break the ice before the cutting of the wedding cake and can be a very fun way to start dessert! How can a cake show a groom’s personality? It is really amazing what people are now able to do with cakes. You can showcase the groom’s interests, hobby, job, or even an inside joke that you can explain to your guests if you feel inclined! This will also let them in on a little something special with your relationship and will make guests feel included. The cake does not need to be (and should not be!) a flat sheet cake that you get at your grocery store. Visit Ace of Cakes for great ideas and flavors. The possibilities are really endless!
Another option is to serve the groom’s cake at the rehearsal dinner instead of at the wedding reception. This way, the attendants get something special that will not be available at the wedding and this way, you aren’t serving two cakes at your wedding reception. Also, because the groom’s cake is traditionally supposed to be a bit smaller than your wedding cake, it’s great to serve for a smaller set of people. Whatever you choose to do, get a bit of your groom’s input but don’t give away the surprise!
Gifts Between Bride and Groom
What’s better than your wedding day? Presents from your honey before it all begins on your big day! This is a nice tradition especially since you aren’t supposed to be seeing each other that day at all. Getting a little gift delivered to you from your sweetie is the perfect way to start your wedding day. It makes the anticipation even greater plus it’s a perfect reminder of how wonderful your fiancé is. So, what do you get?
For grooms, this could really be all over the place. It could be tickets to see the Red Sox right after you get back from your honeymoon, a leather flask, a cigar set, a set of Brandy glasses, etc. Basically what I would recommend is getting him a gift that you know will annoy you. Hate it when he lights up that cigar? Show him how much you care by condoning it on this one special day. When he gets that monogrammed lighter from you, he’ll have to smile and be so glad he’s about to marry you. Of course I’m not encouraging you to get him a gift that you genuinely disapprove of (like a set of shot glasses if you hate alcohol) but something you know he will appreciate and will be a bit of an inside joke.
For brides, the gift is fairly easy: jewelry! You can either go with diamond earrings to match her engagement ring, a tennis bracelet or a ring to adorn her other hand. If you’re trying to stay in a budget, anything sentimental will also do. Even if you do something as simple as writing her a note, we will love it. You can get many sentimental keepsakes as well such as Reasons I Love You Stones or a Silver Wedding Rose. Basically you can’t go wrong when you get a gift that has anything to do with love or our relationship.
It’s rare that I condone personalized gifts (as in monogramming with names & dates) however I would highly recommend this when gift giving ensues between the bride and groom. The reason I’m not into monogramming your wedding date onto gifts for the guests is because they are less likely to use a frame with your wedding date on it because it’s not super relevant for them. Although I’m sure they did enjoy your big day, this gift is not practical for them. However, the tides turn when it comes to personalized gifts for your fiancé. Of course you want to remember the specific date of your wedding! Of course you want loving phrases monogrammed on your gift for each other, it’s a day of love! This also adds a sweet and personal touch to whatever gift you give. She will always appreciate and love jewelry but when it’s engraved with your wedding date and a line from your vows (for example) the gift becomes that much more precious and she will always think of your wedding when she sees it.
Choosing Your Wedding Party
Well, it’s time to start sifting through your friends and family to put together your wedding party! The idea of picking your wedding party is that you pick people who are close to you and your fiancé as well as people who are fit for the job. Not everyone can handle the stress of being in the wedding party! Although picking your wedding party is a very personal decision, take a few of these tips into consideration before you officially ask anyone to join you and your fiancé on your big day.
To girls, being asked to be part of a wedding party is a big deal. Most girls know the kind of commitment involved and are very excited to be picked for the job! However, to be sure, let your friend or family member know the kinds of responsibilities that will be expected of her right away and give her the chance to say yes or no. Do not assume that she has been dying to drive 5 hours to your town/city to watch you try on your wedding dress, then drive back for her bridesmaid dress fitting, then back again for the bridal shower then once more for the bachelorette. Although most girls don’t find this to be a problem, some do. There are a lot of things that come up for a bride in the wedding planning process so be sure your maid of honor and bridesmaids are excited to be the ones to help you along with this process. You deserve to have girls by your side that are just as excited about your wedding as you are! Also try to pick a couple girls in your wedding party that are a bit experienced with the process. Because they will be responsible for making your bachelorette, bridal shower, and dress fittings a fun time, it helps to have someone a part of the process who has been there before. Will they be weirded out if they need to help you pee because you already got in your wedding dress? Will they be there to hold your hair back because you’ve had too much to drink at your bachelorette? Keep these questions in mind when making your final decision!
There are some things that the groomsmen need to do that they may find difficult during the ceremony. These things include: not drawing attention to themselves, not being idiots, not being fidgety, and being generally quiet and respectful. Then there is the time when they do not need to be quiet and respectful, and that’s the bachelor party. If they are your groomsmen, they will need to be invited to this event. Will they be a Debbie Downer? Will they be on the opposite end of the spectrum and be totally out of control? This is where it gets tricky when deciding whether or not to ask family or the bride’s family to be a part of your wedding party. Will it be awkward if your future brother in law sees you getting a lap dance? On the other hand, it could be some interesting family bonding! Some other things to consider that are crucial to your choice are: are they reliable and will they be on time? There are only so many things you can control the day of your wedding but try to pick people for your groomsmen that aren’t perpetually late and actually care about other’s time schedules. These things are useful on your wedding day.
Ultimately, you will know who is right for your wedding party. There are people who have been in your life that have always been there for you and will want to be there for your wedding day in a big way. Sometimes, people’s feelings will get hurt because they assume that they will be chosen to be your bridesmaid/groomsmen and they just didn’t make the cut. Be prepared for this, but don’t let it stop you from making the right decision for yourself and your fiancé. This is your day and you deserve to enjoy it with your family and friends!
The Dress Code
If you’re not sure what you should be wearing to the wedding, check the invitation to point you in the right direction. On most wedding invitations, the dress code will be provided. There are different levels of attire ranging from beach casual to the most formal of affairs. Here is a guide to better understand the suggested dress code beginning with the most formal:
White Tie
A white tie wedding is extremely formal and not very common for weddings today. A white tie dress code invites guests to dress up in their most glamorous wears. This dress code requires men to wear to tuxedos, a white vest, and is completed with a white bow tie. Ladies are asked to wear full length formal gowns accessorized with elegant jewelry. This attire is usually reserved for high end political dinners and galas, and of course, the Oscars!
Black Tie
Black tie is the second most formal dress code, the one most typically suggested at a formal evening wedding. Ladies may wear evening gowns, usually floor length, typically in darker tones. A dress higher than knee length is not appropriate. Men are expected to be wearing tuxedos complete with cummerbund and a black bow tie with a patent leather dress shoe.
Black Tie Optional
As the title suggests, black tie optional provides the guest with the option to attend in formal attire, but also allows for men to opt for a dressy suit with a tie, and women to select cocktail dresses or fancy separates. Where black tie suggests a woman wears a floor length gown, black tie optional offers the opportunity to wear either a floor length or knee length dress.
Cocktail Attire
Cocktail attire requests that men attend wearing a fashionable suit and for women to wear cocktail dresses. Floor length gowns are too dressy for this occasion. A cocktail dress is usually at or above the knee. Cocktail attire is meant to be chic and fun!
Dressy Casual
Dressy casual will require different attire depending on the time of day for the wedding. A day wedding that is dressy casual will allow for less formal day time wear, perhaps a nice dress or pantsuit. Men can attend in slacks and a nice shirt. Jeans and tennis shoes are not appropriate.
Beach Attire
When a wedding is to be held on the beach, the factors of the environment are brought into consideration when suggesting a dress code. For a beach wedding, men typically wear linen shirts and pants which are more comfortable on the sand and under the sun. Khakis and neutral tones are most typically seen. Men do not wear ties for beach attire and may wear a nice sandal. Women typically wear pretty sun dresses for the occasion, perhaps an upscale sunhat, and dress sandals which are appropriate as you will be on the sand for the ceremony.
The Marriage License
Perhaps the most unglamorous part of the wedding planning process, obtaining your marriage license is obviously very important. The requirements vary by state, but the general rules stay the same for this procedure. The most important advice I can give is to call the courthouse ahead of time. The clerks will generally give you more information than is on their website. Had I not called ahead of time, I wouldn’t have found out they accept cash only and close at 4.
Some other important reminders?
You may be required to get a blood test to prove you don’t have any venereal or other such transmittable diseases. So if you have something of this nature and haven’t shared this fun fact with your lady, you may want to do so before the county clerk does it for you.
If you are close blood relatives, you cannot get married. However, in some states first cousins aren’t considered close enough and you guys can get married if your love is strong. This also varies by state so if you’re engaged to a close relative right now, look this one up according to your state.
There are time restraints surrounding your marriage license. Some states require you to wait a couple days before you receive your marriage license so find out if this applies to you. If it does, do not wait until the last minute to get your license as it will prevent you from legally getting married on your wedding day. States that require a waiting period are:
- 1-day Waiting Period: Illinois, New York, South Carolina.
- 2-day Waiting Period: Maryland.
- 3-day Waiting Period: Alaska, Iowa, Kansas, Louisiana, Maine, Massachusetts, Michigan, Mississippi, New Hampshire, New Jersey, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Washington.
- 4-day Waiting Period: Delaware.
- 5-day Waiting Period: Minnesota, Ohio, Wisconsin.
Another time restraint is how long your marriage license is good for after you get it. As in, if you don’t get married within 30 days after obtaining your license, it is no longer valid. This is a hard one to deal with for those of us that like to get things done WAY ahead of time. Again, this varies by state.
The most important thing to remember is to bring your identification with you and most states require both parties to be there. So also remember to bring your fiancé. Call ahead and be prepared! It will save you multiple trips to the county clerk’s office.
Wedding Insurance
So you’ve chosen the day you want to get married and the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with. How do you protect all the money that goes into this joyous occasion? Wedding insurance! This is certainly not a bad investment as so much money and hard work goes into planning a wedding and there is much that can go wrong before the big day arrives. What do you need to know before deciding whether or not wedding insurance is for you?
Can you afford it? Before deciding whether or not wedding insurance is right for you, see if there is room in your budget for it. Luckily, most wedding insurers base their prices directly on how much your budget is for the wedding so contact the company directly for a quote. Don’t assume that the price is astronomical or not worth it in relation to your budget. Even small budget weddings can experience insurance worthy disasters! Be sure to find out what the deductible is that you will be responsible for paying should you need to call in your wedding insurance back up. Not all places require a deductable payment, however be sure to find out if there is one and if so, factor this into your wedding budget.
What do you want to protect? When researching wedding insurance, you will be reminded of the little details of your wedding. It’s up to you what details you want to protect. You can find places that will insure things from your wedding dress right down to the camera roll the photographer is using. While you will be tempted to insure every last detail, insure according to what you can afford. If your budget allows you to insure your entire wedding, go for it! This will allow you peace of mind in the weeks leading up to the big day and will probably afford you a good night’s sleep the night before.
Like any other insurance, shop around for the best price for what you need. If you only plan on insuring the dress or the vendors, find the best price for those specific needs. If a company only offers to insure the whole wedding and you have a specific idea in mind of what you want, keep looking. Like auto insurance, you can also pick how much coverage you want for each specific item. You may not want to insure your flowers for as much as you insure your wedding location. Also, most wedding insurance companies have a limit as to how close to the wedding you can obtain your insurance. If you are thinking about getting wedding insurance, the sooner the better. Lastly, before you settle down with one company, be sure to do thorough research on their reliability. The best way to waste money is to insure your wedding with a company who won’t be there for you in the end if something does go wrong!
For scary wedding mishaps that will make you want to get wedding insurance, visit WedSafe!
Your Vows
Wedding vows!! This task is usually done pretty close to the wedding, although you do not have to wait to get started on looking and selecting your wedding vows. Although this may seem like a daunting task, it’s really pretty easy! Your officiant should have a book of vows for you to choose from and will also be able to let you know if you have specific vows that you cannot deviate from. This will usually depend on your religion or church that you have selected as a location. So, meet with your officiant before you set anything in stone regarding your vows. There are three major sections of vows however you can find many different categories available to you. Decide on something you both feel comfortable with saying and keep in mind that this will be in front of your family and friends. Below are the ones you can familiarize yourself with and get started!
Traditional. These are the vows that are popular among church weddings or traditional couples. Although I was having a very casual outdoor wedding, I still wanted to have the traditional vows recited at my wedding. They are beautiful and moving (and already written for you!) What’s nice about traditional vows is that there are still a lot of options when choosing them. You do not have to stick with the “for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health” if you don’t want to! Here is a great list of variants you can choose from but still fall into the “traditional” category.
Non-traditional. This is right in between traditional and basically saying whatever you want. These vows still have the feeling of traditional however the words are replaced with a more secular tone. Instead of saying “I take you to be my wife before God” you are freer to say “I take you to be my wife before our friends and family.” The non-traditional vows use a guide however you can still add your own personality and wording as it suits you.
Writing your own. What’s nice about writing your own vows is that you can take time during the ceremony not only to express your love for each other in your own words but also to add your own personality and flavor. It can also be entertaining for the guests to hear your own words. So how do you do it? Stick to the idea of them being vows. You should still say your name, as well as your mate’s name somewhere during the vows but other than that you can have free reign! Just be sure to include your promises to each other, “I promise/vow to buy you a puppy 2 weeks after our wedding” and it is also a good idea to add in parts about how you love each other although this is not a requirement. Even when you are writing your own vows, take a look at both the traditional and non-traditional offerings because there is some pretty good stuff in there you might want to include! There is something about saying that you belong to each other “until death parts us” that is very powerful. You may not want to include any of this in your own vows, but take a peek and see if anything appeals to you. After you write them, you may want to run them by your officiant to be sure you are all set.
You only get one chance to say your vows, so whichever category you choose, make them meaningful and relevant to your relationship. Your vows are a great time to say in front of your friends and family how you feel about the person you are about to marry so take advantage of it! Whether you choose to do this by writing your own vows or choosing traditional, be sure to read them over and be prepared to say them on the big day!
How to Budget
First of all, you need to know where your budget is coming from. Are either of your parents contributing? Are you paying for it yourselves? There is no set requirement budget for a wedding. There are weddings that have been done on a budget and ended up beautifully, and then there are platinum weddings that are in poor taste. A beautiful wedding can be done on any budget, you just need to find out what yours is before you start any planning. Once you get your amount down for the wedding, here are some tips of how to section out your budget.
Location is key. About 50% of your budget will go to your ceremony/reception location. The rental of your location selection alone will take out a big chunk of your budget, so plan accordingly. You may want to find out this amount first as you plan your budget so you can filter the rest of your funds realistically.
Stay organized! The best way to go over your budget is to not keep track of how much you’re spending. Although this may seem relatively easy, write down all the details of how much things will cost, even like whether or not your down payment goes towards the total cost of your location rental, or how much extra your alcohol will be in addition to your menu cost. These little expenses add up quickly and could be the culprit in your budget getting out of hand. Not so great with the math? Set up your budget on a spreadsheet and let your computer do it for you! Take notes at each meeting you have with each of your vendors and be sure to add it to your budget spreadsheet right away. Follow up with contracts for your vendors so you get your final cost as soon as possible. Often when you get a quote from a vendor at a consultation, it is the lowest number they offer without any of the extras you have planned. So let them know up front what your expectations and needs are for your big day.
What do you really need? Right when you start planning for the wedding, make a list of the things you absolutely need and want to have at your wedding and reception. Make room in your budget for these things first. As your planning continues, you will be tempted to add many things to your list! If you didn’t budget for a tiara plus a veil, only get one! Keep this list in mind as you do your wedding planning and shopping. Do you want a videographer plus a photographer? What kind of bouquet are you interested in? Making these decisions early will help your budget come together faster, but you also don’t need to rush the planning process. Always try to keep in mind your original needs and you should stay right on track.
Budget for the unplanned. Don’t have your budget so tight that you don’t have any room for emergencies. The last thing you want is for a forgotten yet important detail to come up yet there be no money to pay for it. It is very likely this will be necessary even if you’ve gone over your list a dozen times. Emergencies happen and people forget things. Just be ready for it when it happens. If you end up not needing this extra funding, you can splurge a little more on your honeymoon! Or, if you’re savers, add it to your nest egg. You will most likely need to set aside 5-7% of your budget for the “just in case” fund, a little more if you’re extra paranoid.
Getting your budget together will be a huge sigh of relief so get started early! Deciding on a specific amount with your fiancé may be a difficult task, but will help the planning process come together more smoothly. Just remember, no matter how much you plan to spend, your day will be amazing regardless!
Proposal Ideas
You’re ready to propose. You’ve bought the ring, asked her dad, and you are ready! So how do you do it? Will she love it? First, take some pressure off yourself! Hopefully, you’ve chosen to propose to this woman because she loves you for who you are, not how you decide to propose. So keep in mind that although this is a huge moment, this woman loves you. That being said, take in the ideas below but also be sure to incorporate something meaningful to your relationship. The most important thing to do when you propose is to do it in a way that shows her you care and that you’ve been paying attention to things she loves!
If she is a romantic – Thankfully, it’s pretty easy to make the proposal something romantic. Just getting down on one knee is one of the most romantic and gentlemanly things you can do so be sure to include this in the proposal. Romantic ideas can range from big to little: a moonlight walk in the park alone that involves hand holding and reminiscing about your relationship; an afternoon picnic (also include hand holding) and consider bringing a bottle of wine and her favorite flowers; a long weekend getaway – this can either be to places you have never been before but know she would love or to your favorite destination that holds many memories. If you do choose a location where you have never been, make sure it’s a place you know she will love. Whether it be for historic reasons, she is an art lover, or taking her to an amazing museum make sure that a great weekend is in store.
If she’s not a romantic – My first recommendation would be to not propose in public! If she is not a romantic, odds are she won’t enjoy your love being declared in front of a big crowd. This doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you, but that can be a bit embarrassing especially for a girl that isn’t into big romantic displays. For the non-romantic I would try to stick with an at home proposal or something very simple. At home proposals can still be very memorable! Some ideas can include – hiding it somewhere in the house and having her stumble upon it; having her go on a treasure hunt; spelling it out on the scrabble board; spelling it out on the newspaper crossword puzzle; slipping it on her finger while she’s sleeping; drawing her a bath and place the ring on her floating rubber ducky, etc.
If she likes fishies – One of the most unique and coolest proposal stories I have read involve fish! A simple idea can be proposing at the aquarium in one of their underground tunnels while the fish swim above; have the aquarium staff get in on the idea – one couple had a diver swim down to where the couple was admiring the fish with a sign that read “Girlfriend’s name, will you marry me?” Very cool! Another slick gentleman asked the staff if during the dolphin show, one of the dolphins could carry the ring box over to his girlfriend while she was allowed to pet them. Of course, this is risky but also awesome. Any one of these ideas could be a great starter idea that you can put your own spin to.
For any of these ideas, you can add your own creativity and relevance to your relationship. Most of all, know what kind of girl you are about to marry and you will have a good idea of what kind of proposal she would appreciate. When in doubt, do something romantic and simple. Whatever you choose, this will be a moment that she will not forget!
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Find the Ring
Plan the Proposal
Plan the Wedding
