Rules Of Engagement

How do I drop hints for him to propose…WITHOUT overwhelming him and making him feel like he HAS to do it. We’ve been dating for almost three years (come March)..and I’m growing a little inpatient. I’m naturally a semi- inpatient person to begin,.. so how do I cope with this if it’s not going to happen as soon as I’d like it too (on his time). I’m still young, I’m not looking to get married until after college (2 & 1/2 more years). I’ve just always wanted to be engaged for a few years prior to having a wedding. – Megan Adams

Megan,
First, if you haven’t already, have an open and candid discussion with him about when he sees marriage in your future as a couple. I think after three years it’s a safe question to ask. You should at least find out if it’s on his mind. Definitely let him know what you indicated here and that is you would be open to a long engagement, you just want to know what kind of timeline you’re looking at. Let him know that you aren’t trying to get married tomorrow but would like to be engaged in the near future. You deserve to know whether or not you’re wasting your time (not a statement you need to include when talking to him but it is the honest truth). If this conversation makes him uncomfortable, I would say you have a pretty good idea that a proposal is not forthcoming. Any hints/suggestions at that point would be pressure. But, if you had already had the discussion and you think a proposal should be coming, I would bring up ring sizes and styles as well as direct him to this website! As for coping with having to wait for a proposal, I know how hard that can be. Just remind yourself that he is worth waiting for and that ultimately you will be spending the rest of your lives together so waiting an extra couple years will be ok. In the meantime, it wouldn’t hurt to have him catch you looking at engagement rings online from time to time!

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